elbales: (You make kitty scared)
When Used Books Attack: Banana Edition

At RiverRun Bookstore, we carry used books as well as new. People drop off boxes of their books, and we go through them and decide what we would like to sell in the store. We mostly receive fiction and nonfiction paperbacks, but occasionally, there is something delightful and unusual in the batch: An old Agatha Christie book in French; a book of poems about unicorns; a children’s book called “Arlo, the Dandy Lion”. But Tom, the store’s owner, found a book yesterday morning that can only be classified under ‘Things That Will Make You Claw at Your Own Eyes’. Behold: BE BOLD WITH BANANAS.

Just click through, y'all. It's hilarious. And terrible. Hilarrible, maybe.
elbales: (ROFL seal)
Sooo... apparently? Someone has written a thing. A thing that should never, ever have been written. A thing even fail-ier and more stupid than Twilight. It's not a teen vampire romance, or a teen werewolf romance, or even a teen mummy romance. No. It is a teen zombie romance, because apparently this is a thing. And as though a book on this subject were not bad enough? Someone? Has made it into a movie.

I swear I am not making this up.

See? There's an article on it and everything.


God dammit. For the last time, people, zombies are not timely metaphors. They’re not symbols of consumer culture, or overpopulation, or the war on terror, and they sure as hell aren’t the perfect jumping off point for a teen romance. They’re big sacks of movie meat that you can explode without pondering motive or remorse, like Nazis. ZOMBIES ARE TO BE EXPLODED.

And the book description?

R is a young man with an existential crisis—he is a zombie. He shuffles through an America destroyed by war, social collapse, and the mindless hunger of his undead comrades, but he craves something more than blood and brains. He can speak just a few grunted syllables, but his inner life is deep, full of wonder and longing. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he has dreams.
After experiencing a teenage boy’s memories while consuming his brain, R makes an unexpected choice that begins a tense, awkward, and stragely sweet relationship with the victim’s human girlfriend. Julie is a blast of color in the otherwise dreary and gray landscape that surrounds R. His decision to protect her will transform not only R, but his fellow Dead, and perhaps their whole lifeless world.



BRB, LOLing forever.

Favorite comment on the above post: "Breaking Dawn of the Dead. Please call it that."
elbales: (Unimpressed!River)
Drave asked what the changes are. They are many! In the default comment style, we now may enjoy:

• no subject lines, always a winning strategy when wrangling very large numbers of comments
• no drop-down icon menu but rather a pop-up browser that takes forever to load
• no compatibility with screen readers for the visually impaired
• spotty compatibility for mobile users and Firefox users
• a background that's blinding white, so much white space that folks are reporting headaches and worse, and gradient color in the bars where users' names appear with the date and time of posts. Eye strain ahoy!

BTW, if I'm understanding correctly, only paid users have access to S2 styles, so users with free accounts may enjoy their migraines free of charge.

Also, community maintainers are reporting that S2 styles do not interact well with the large numbers of comments common to many LJ comms, so the management cry of "Let them use S2!" is, in short, bunk.

To avoid the layout/eye strain problem and make sure Subject lines appear as intended, go to Settings > Display and make sure "View all journals and communities in my own style" and "View comment pages from my Friends page in my own style" are both checked. Save any changes and then go to Journal > Journal Style > Customize Journal style, scroll down to Presentation, and set "Disable customized comment pages for your journal" to No.

Of course, if you don't have a paid account, you are SOL. Thanks, LJ!

Anyway, hope this helps. The whole situation is just stupid and should never have happened in the first place.

elbales: (Hacked off!Nine)
Soooo... apparently, the new default comment layout? Is causing some people to suffer migraines and seizures.

Suffer. Migraines. And seizures.

It's something to do with the amount of white space and the gradients that are now part of the blue fields in the default view.

Also? Many visually impaired users are reporting that their screen readers aren't working properly any more.

Also also, a lot of people who are on slow connections or are using mobile devices like iPhones are reporting that the new icon selection tool is essentially rendering the site unusable.

Apparently there's been a five-figure surge in Dreamwidth signups. Yep. I'm getting more and more tempted to move over there. I'm hesitant to do so because so many of my friends are here and have stated no desire to move, and I would miss reading all your news. But these changes are materially affecting a LOT of users, and LJ's official response to the literally thousands of complaints has been... lackluster. (She said, ironically understating the case by a factor of a frillion.) This whole situation is just FUBAR, and it was just totally unnecessary. It's clear to me that this "upgrade" was not tested adequately, if it was tested at all by anyone outside the LJ staff offices.

Failiest of fails.

elbales: (Can of wup-ass)
So that comment thing where you are forcing me to browse my user icons instead of giving me a nice efficient drop-down menu?


Stupid assholes.
elbales: (Proserpina)
And to all a good night. ♥
elbales: (ROFL seal)
Pope Benedict XVI attacks Christmas consumerism at Mass

Pope Benedict XVI has attacked the commercialisation of Christmas as he held the traditional Christmas Eve Mass at St Peter's Basilica in Rome.

In his homily, he urged worshippers to "see through the superficial glitter of this season and to discover behind it the child in the stable in Bethlehem".

And what does he wear at these masses? SPARKLY GOLD ROBES.

brb, lol'ing forever
elbales: (ROFL seal)
So today they released the trailer for Prometheus, the Alien prequel, so [livejournal.com profile] cleolinda posted it because that's what she does, and there followed this Twitter conversation of win:

@Annaleen: Prometheus trailer has me filled with awe and glee. Reminds me of Russian SF movie Solaris for some reason.

@cleolinda: Mine's the USS Everyone Gets Home Safe. RT @scottEweinberg: Prometheus. Icarus. Daedalus. Parsimonious. #badnamesforspaceships

@cleolinda: The No Aliens Allowed. The Nobody Dies. The Sunshine Unicorn. The Punch and Pie. #myscifispaceship

@AnnLarimer: The Cantexplode #myscifispaceship

@millibeau: The Huge Shiny Not Compensating For Anything. #myscifispaceship

@annejumps: The She's Fast Enough For You Old Man #myscifispaceship

@Salome: The "SHE'S A Rebel," AKA The Hated By Fangirls And Fanboys AKA the USS Misogyny Bait #myscifispaceship

@Eviey: The I Swear To Whatever Omnipotent Deity You Believe In If You Give Me Any Lip I Will Turn This Ship Around #myscifispaceship

@cleolinda: The Nobody Goes Outside. The No You Can't Come Back In With Alien On Your Face. The Going Home Right Now. #myscifispaceship

@alliancesjr: The USS Keep It On Lockdown And Tow It Into The Authorities Like We Planned

@alliancesjr: Although on a serious note, I do like how HALO's ship names are poetic. "In Amber Clad" "Pillar of Autumn" "Forward Unto Dawn"

@alliancesjr: Nobody really knows what a pillar of autumn IS, but it's damned poetic nonetheless.

@cleolinda: At least none of them are deeply foreshadowed mythological figures, you know?

@alliancesjr: Agreed. I prefer naming them after prominent historical figures. Like the USS Patrick Henry. #amidoingthisright

@cleolinda: The USS Benedict Arnold. The USS Richard Nixon. The USS Evel Knievel. #amidoingthisright

@alliancesjr: If I get a ship, I'm naming it the "Second Star To The Right."

@alliancesjr: And the next ship in my fleet will be the "No Your Other Right"

If Hardi and I ever get spaceships of our very own, we are totally using those last two.
elbales: (Squee!Ten)

Is it can be December 2012 tiems nao plz?
elbales: (BadCat)
Holy Moses. I take back every bad thing I've ever said about the ads and copyright statements that run at the beginning of American DVDs. At least you can skip the ads. Right now I'm watching a DVD from Malaysia, and you're forced to sit through nine minutes of trailers and such. Seriously?
elbales: (OMG!Ten)
So I heard a new group on NPR today: Pentatonix. They apparently won something called The Sing-Off, which I had never heard of because I watch neither broadcast TV or reality TV.

Behold the awesomeosity:

That's one more of the five new artists I wanted to find. :)
elbales: (Find someone to carry you)
A couple of weeks ago I was finishing up my lunch at the food court in Westfield Center, SF. You know, the one near Bloomingdale's and the swanky little supermarket. The one full of people who have everything they need; who are, some of them, rich, and even the ones who aren't are fine.

I scooped my leftovers into a carton and then stood up; I pulled my scarf out of my messenger bag and wound it around my neck; I slid my arms into my raincoat.

Suddenly I realized that a woman had come near. She asked the man at the next table if he could help. His face closed up and he shook his head curtly.

And then she turned and looked at me.

It had been a long time since I'd seen so much weariness and misery on a person's face. She was fairly clean and wasn't carrying bundles or wheeling a cart. She wasn't dressed warmly enough for November. She looked so sad.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her. She nodded. I picked my my carton of leftovers and put it in her hands. And she burst into tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, trying to calm herself. I wasn't sure she would want me putting my arms around her: everyone deserves their dignity. So I put my hand on her shoulder and just stood with her. "Bless you," I offered, feeling how very weak and useless the words were, but hoping they might give comfort.

"Do have someplace to go?" I asked her. She shook her head. "Is there a shelter?" Another headshake. "I don't have enough money," she said through her tears.

I took out my wallet and I put a ten-dollar bill in her hand. "It's all I've got on me," I told her, and her face crumpled and she put her arms around me. I don't like strangers touching me, but I didn't mind; when someone is falling apart in front of you, when they hug you because they just need human kindness, you hug them back.

"Are you gonna be okay? Do you need it?" she asked.

Christ. This woman, this woman who had nothing, wanted to make sure that my giving her that money wasn't going to cause me hardship.

"No, honey," I said gently. "I'm fine. I'm fine."

Ten fucking dollars. To me that's so little, but to her it was everything. Treating her like a human being instead of a lazy, useless, damned soul was like offering her the moon on a string.

What are we doing, when ten lousy dollars and half a carton of leftover Thai food can be the only hope someone has all day? What the fuck are we doing?

elbales: (ROFL seal)
Customer Reviews
Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray

306 of 308 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Accept no substitutes when casually repressing students
November 21, 2011
By D-bag of Liberty - See all my reviews

Whenever I need to breezily inflict discipline on unruly citizens, I know I can trust Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray to get the job done! The power of reason is no match for Defense Technology's superior repression power. When I reach for my can of Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray, I know that even the mighty First Amendment doesn't stand a chance against its many scovil units of civil rights suppression.

When I feel threatened by students, no matter how unarmed, peaceful and seated they may be, I know that Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray has got my back as I casually spray away at point blank range.

It really is the Cadillac of citizen repression technology.

Buy a whole case!

BRB, lol'ing forever
elbales: (Fantastically stupid!Ten)

I cannot stop laughing, y'all. I'm in pain. The first ten seconds of this literally had me doubled over and smacking my desk. COMEDY GOLD.
elbales: (Pwned!Rose)
From Xeni Jardin (@xeni) on Twitter:

"I could get excited about a Mississippi amendment proposing full personhood for women."

Yeah, me too. Fortunately, it seems that the majority of the voters of Mississippi agree.
elbales: (Hacked off!Nine)
Dear Mississippi: FAIL.

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] gabrielleabelle at Mississippi Personhood Amendment
Okay, so I don't usually do this, but this is an issue near and dear to me and this is getting very little no attention in the mainstream media.

Mississippi is voting on November 8th on whether to pass Amendment 26, the "Personhood Amendment". This amendment would grant fertilized eggs and fetuses personhood status.

Putting aside the contentious issue of abortion, this would effectively outlaw birth control and criminalize women who have miscarriages. This is not a good thing.

Jackson Women's Health Organization is the only place women can get abortions in the entire state, and they are trying to launch a grassroots movement against this amendment. This doesn't just apply to Mississippi, though, as Personhood USA, the group that introduced this amendment, is trying to introduce identical amendments in all 50 states.

What's more, in Mississippi, this amendment is expected to pass. It even has Mississippi Democrats, including the Attorney General, Jim Hood, backing it.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I made a meager donation to the Jackson Women's Health Organization this morning, and I received a personal email back hours later - on a Sunday - thanking me and noting that I'm one of the first "outside" people to contribute.

So if you sometimes pass on political action because you figure that enough other people will do something to make a difference, make an exception on this one. My RSS reader is near silent on this amendment. I only found out about it through a feminist blog. The mainstream media is not reporting on it.

If there is ever a time to donate or send a letter in protest, this would be it.

What to do?

- Read up on it. Wake Up, Mississippi is the home of the grassroots effort to fight this amendment. Daily Kos also has a thorough story on it.

- If you can afford it, you can donate at the site's link.

- You can contact the Democratic National Committee to see why more of our representatives aren't speaking out against this.

- Like this Facebook page to help spread awareness.

elbales: (Kidding!Nine)
What the hell? I'm gone from posting for a few lousy *checks* days and they wreck the UI! And the interface for replying is even worse. Where the hell are my tags?! Why is there no preview for my userpic or mood and no option to preview posts?! WTF?!

In conclusion: OH HALE NO.
elbales: (Happy cat)
Irene: @ElBloombito mimics Michael Bloomberg Spanish

A Twitter feed set up by one New Yorker has become a surprise hit by caricaturing New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg's efforts to speak Spanish.

Go have a giggle. No Spanish skills actually needed.
elbales: (ROFL seal)

That is all.
elbales: (Boo)
When Good People Do Nothing

Last March, we decided to adopt a shelter dog. After weeks of searching PetFinder and Craigslist, my youngest found him. "That's the one." No matter that this dog was in a rural shelter two hours from home. He was destined to be ours and we made the trip.

Walking across the damp floors of the shelter, we searched the cages for our dog. Most dogs pawed frantically at the gates of their kennel. Every dog barked and the barks echoed through the concrete tunnel of the shelter. We finally found our dog - of course, in the last kennel.

Out in the yard, we fell in love and took him home. Only, after several weeks, we realized that this dog was not actually "our" dog. He wanted to eat our cat too much to be part of our family. We worked with behaviorists but no luck. Ultimately, we found him a wonderful new cat-free home.

With all the time that had passed, it was too late to get a dog. We'd be leaving on a trip in a month. But I couldn't forget those barking dogs, that wet floor, the echoes in the concrete. In late April, I began advertising on Craigslist for the shelter - anonymously, because I was embarrassed. After a month, the shelter director tracked me down through an ad to let me know that my ads had dramatically increased adoptions and to beg me not to stop. My heart swelled with pride, happiness and something more.

This person's story totally made me cry. She's amazing.


elbales: (Default)

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