elbales: (Geek Dualla - BSG)
Month of May, that is.

Why, you may ask?

Why, because I am a gigantic geek, if you must know.
elbales: (ROFL seal)
Sooo... apparently? Someone has written a thing. A thing that should never, ever have been written. A thing even fail-ier and more stupid than Twilight. It's not a teen vampire romance, or a teen werewolf romance, or even a teen mummy romance. No. It is a teen zombie romance, because apparently this is a thing. And as though a book on this subject were not bad enough? Someone? Has made it into a movie.

I swear I am not making this up.

See? There's an article on it and everything.


God dammit. For the last time, people, zombies are not timely metaphors. They’re not symbols of consumer culture, or overpopulation, or the war on terror, and they sure as hell aren’t the perfect jumping off point for a teen romance. They’re big sacks of movie meat that you can explode without pondering motive or remorse, like Nazis. ZOMBIES ARE TO BE EXPLODED.

And the book description?

R is a young man with an existential crisis—he is a zombie. He shuffles through an America destroyed by war, social collapse, and the mindless hunger of his undead comrades, but he craves something more than blood and brains. He can speak just a few grunted syllables, but his inner life is deep, full of wonder and longing. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he has dreams.
After experiencing a teenage boy’s memories while consuming his brain, R makes an unexpected choice that begins a tense, awkward, and stragely sweet relationship with the victim’s human girlfriend. Julie is a blast of color in the otherwise dreary and gray landscape that surrounds R. His decision to protect her will transform not only R, but his fellow Dead, and perhaps their whole lifeless world.



BRB, LOLing forever.

Favorite comment on the above post: "Breaking Dawn of the Dead. Please call it that."
elbales: (ROFL seal)
So today they released the trailer for Prometheus, the Alien prequel, so [livejournal.com profile] cleolinda posted it because that's what she does, and there followed this Twitter conversation of win:

@Annaleen: Prometheus trailer has me filled with awe and glee. Reminds me of Russian SF movie Solaris for some reason.

@cleolinda: Mine's the USS Everyone Gets Home Safe. RT @scottEweinberg: Prometheus. Icarus. Daedalus. Parsimonious. #badnamesforspaceships

@cleolinda: The No Aliens Allowed. The Nobody Dies. The Sunshine Unicorn. The Punch and Pie. #myscifispaceship

@AnnLarimer: The Cantexplode #myscifispaceship

@millibeau: The Huge Shiny Not Compensating For Anything. #myscifispaceship

@annejumps: The She's Fast Enough For You Old Man #myscifispaceship

@Salome: The "SHE'S A Rebel," AKA The Hated By Fangirls And Fanboys AKA the USS Misogyny Bait #myscifispaceship

@Eviey: The I Swear To Whatever Omnipotent Deity You Believe In If You Give Me Any Lip I Will Turn This Ship Around #myscifispaceship

@cleolinda: The Nobody Goes Outside. The No You Can't Come Back In With Alien On Your Face. The Going Home Right Now. #myscifispaceship

@alliancesjr: The USS Keep It On Lockdown And Tow It Into The Authorities Like We Planned

@alliancesjr: Although on a serious note, I do like how HALO's ship names are poetic. "In Amber Clad" "Pillar of Autumn" "Forward Unto Dawn"

@alliancesjr: Nobody really knows what a pillar of autumn IS, but it's damned poetic nonetheless.

@cleolinda: At least none of them are deeply foreshadowed mythological figures, you know?

@alliancesjr: Agreed. I prefer naming them after prominent historical figures. Like the USS Patrick Henry. #amidoingthisright

@cleolinda: The USS Benedict Arnold. The USS Richard Nixon. The USS Evel Knievel. #amidoingthisright

@alliancesjr: If I get a ship, I'm naming it the "Second Star To The Right."

@alliancesjr: And the next ship in my fleet will be the "No Your Other Right"

If Hardi and I ever get spaceships of our very own, we are totally using those last two.
elbales: (Squee!Ten)

Is it can be December 2012 tiems nao plz?
elbales: (BadCat)
Holy Moses. I take back every bad thing I've ever said about the ads and copyright statements that run at the beginning of American DVDs. At least you can skip the ads. Right now I'm watching a DVD from Malaysia, and you're forced to sit through nine minutes of trailers and such. Seriously?
elbales: (I can kill you with my brain)
a;slkdfja;ksdjfaskdfalkjshdfljasdfhasd *flails* !!!

(The icon is totally a joke, yes.)
elbales: (Dangerous mermaid)

Warning: do not watch late at night unless you are used to sleeping after watching Creepy Things™.

(Background can be found here and here.)

elbales: (Very busy!Batman)
I mean, don't get me wrong; the man is much of the hotnessand I'd do him, aside from being a really good actor. But, uh--

(ETA: Another one ganked from [livejournal.com profile] cleolinda's linkspam. If you don't read her, seriously, why?)

Christian Bale's X-rated wish

Christian Bale wants to make an X-rated 'Batman' movie.

The British actor - who stars as Batman/Bruce Wayne in 'The Dark Knight' - thinks the movie franchise could benefit from including a few steamy sex scenes.

He said: "I do think there is room for an 18-rated 'Batman'. It's a little bit tricky to broach the sex aspect of the story when you want kids to come see it as well. I mean, I think it would be very interesting to do a 12 version and an 18 version - two different cuts."

Hey, I'd watch it. But what really had me screaming howling with laughter was the comments.

"i would like to hear him talk during a sex scene with that lol-worthy voice he does"

And then

"Like one person said last night: phone sex with him and his Batman voice would be LOL worthy."

And then


And then


elbales: (Cheetah laughing hysterically)
H and I saw Wanted.




Srsly, that movie was hilarious, stupid, and horrendously nonsensical. But fun.
elbales: (Bitch please saw-whet owl)
Seriously, why? Just... why?
elbales: (ROFL seal)
Awesome spoof of the Bourne Identity films. Absolutely badass. Also hilarious.

Showed on network TV, so it's work safe, though there are lots of bleeped-out words.
elbales: (Default)
Just... yeah.

*still grinning*
elbales: (Happy cat)

Watch this video. It freaking rocks.
elbales: (Can't be serious!Rimmer)
So they're casting for a movie version of Dark is Rising. With... the Stantons changed to Americans living in the UK.


And Will's not the youngest, and his parents are "emotionally distant," and his older brothers all pick on him, and suddenly James is involved with Maggie Teh Milkmaid of Ebil. Oh, and Will's "gloomily convinced that he's doomed to be a bookish, gawky oddball at the bottom of the pecking order. However, he is actually an innately cool kid who has not yet grown into his coolness."

*weeps pitiably*

The only good thing I've heard is that Christopher Eccleston's in it. This does not outweigh the crap-ness of this blasphemous travesty of a so-called adaptation.

elbales: (Kidding!Nine)
So I just learned from the talented and witty [livejournal.com profile] cleolinda's LJ that someone's making a movie called Cthulhu that stars, among others, Tori Spelling. No, for real. They've got an entry at IMDB already, and they've made the longest trailer ever, and it just looks so crap it's almost beyond belief.

But hey, it has a polar bear! For the win!

It's not a question of whether it's going to suck. It's a question of how hard it's going to suck.

I'm not sure whether to laugh hysterically or to just get started right now with building my bunker.


elbales: (Default)

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