elbales: (WTF parka)
Man tries to attack cops with ax, knife, sword
Wednesday, April 22, 2009

12:15 PDT PANAMA CITY BEACH, Fla. (AP) --

Authorities said a motel guest tried to scare off deputies with a medieval battle ax, a knife and a long sword. The Bay County Sheriff's Office reported that deputies responded to the Sting Ray Motel Tuesday morning after management called 911 to complain that a guest was acting strange.


O_o
 
elbales: (F'ing weird!Nine)
AHAHAHAHAHA
*sputter*
*pause*
AHHaAHahAHAhAHahAHaHaha

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's To Use Human Milk
Group Says Move Would Help Humans, Cows

WATERBURY, Vt. -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

"PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.


I swear I am not making this up.

*snicker*
OH YOU CRAZY PETA GUYS
 
elbales: (I can kill you with my brain)
911 math call

Just think, if only I'd thought to call 911, I could have done so much better in Elementary Functions, which made my junior year of high school rather more miserable.

But I don't think Becka needs to fear competition. ;)
 
elbales: (WTF cat and tortoise)
Actual Daily Telegraph headline. I swear I am not making this up. O_o;

Man who had sex with bike in court

By Richard Alleyne
Last Updated: 2:07am GMT 31/10/2007

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

... ... ...
 
elbales: (WTF parka)
Man Buys Smoker, Finds Human Leg Inside
Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Maiden, N.C. (AP) --

A man who bought a smoker Tuesday at an auction of abandoned items might have thought twice had he looked inside first.

Maiden police said the man opened up the smoker and saw what he thought was a piece of driftwood wrapped in paper. When he unwrapped it, he found a human leg, cut off 2 to 3 inches above the knee.

The smoker had been sold at an auction of items left behind at a storage facility, so investigators contacted the mother and son who had rented the space where the smoker was found.

The mother explained her son had his leg amputated after a plane crash and kept the leg following the surgery. The mother said her son plans to drive to Maiden, about 35 miles northwest of Charlotte, to reclaim his amputated leg, police said.


......

JESUS CHRIST. What kind of freak do you have to be to keep your amputated leg? And how stupid do you have to be to LEAVE IT IN A SMOKER?

The grotesqueness, it burns.
 
elbales: (BADGER BADGER BADGER)
Ha haaaaaa! Those crazy engineering students! What will they do for an encore?
 
elbales: (WTF parka)
Mummified body found in front of blaring TV
POSTED: 8:54 a.m. EST, February 18, 2007

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- Police called to a Long Island man's house discovered the mummified remains of the resident, dead for more than a year, sitting in front of a blaring television set.



Actually, even as I go OMGWTFWTFWTF, I think it's sad. The poor man must not have had family.

But it's still weird as hell.
elbales: (Happy cat)
God I love the Chronicle.

Curiosity killed the... Heh. I went there. )

HAHAHAHAoh that cat has him so snowed. Cats took over the Internet years ago. I mean, please.
 
elbales: (Happy cat)
Now here's a headline.

The IRS is set to return money collected via Americans' phone bills to pay for the Spanish-American War.

By The Motley Fool

Nearly a year ago, The Motley Fool published an article titled "You're still paying for the Spanish-American War," which noted that, bizarre though it may be, we've all been socked on each phone bill with an excise tax that went into effect long ago to pay for the Spanish-American War.

<_<
>_>

...Am I on Candid Camera?


Ganked from [livejournal.com profile] kiri_l.
elbales: (Can't be serious!Rimmer)
I swear I am not making this up.

PASSO FUNDO, Brazil - Geneticist Adil Pacheco took blood samples on Friday from three puppies in a poor neighborhood in Passo Fundo in southern Brazil to settle a dispute over a claim they were born from a cat.


...

....

O.o

Just... WTF.

Ganked from [livejournal.com profile] cleolinda.

ETA: Well, of course it's not true. I posted this because PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING WEIRD AND IT BEFUDDLES ME. WOE.
 
elbales: (WTF?)
Very odd story.
elbales: (You make kitty scared)
No, I'm serious. It's in the news and everything.

Unless it's a hoax. Someone please tell me it's a hoax...

Eew.

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