elbales

Well, okay, not an actual Viking; he was not so much with the pillaging and slaying. But a young man in a Viking helmet, yes. Actually I caught sight of him in the waiting area when I first got to the platform, and I noted on FB that there was a dude in a Viking helmet nearby. "I'm tempted to ask him if he likes Spam," I wrote, but didn't.

And then I met him on the train. Clearly it was fate.

"But do you like Spam?" I asked him.

"Whaaat?" he said, clearly wondering what the weird lady was on about.

"Do you like SPAM?" I repeated.

"...No?"

"Ohmygod, you've never seen the Monty Python Spam sketch?!"

"No, but I love Monty Python."

"YOU MUST YOUTUBE IT. Monty Python. Spam."

And we went our separate ways, happy.

Fin.

Customer Reviews
Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray

306 of 308 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Accept no substitutes when casually repressing students
November 21, 2011
By D-bag of Liberty - See all my reviews


Whenever I need to breezily inflict discipline on unruly citizens, I know I can trust Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray to get the job done! The power of reason is no match for Defense Technology's superior repression power. When I reach for my can of Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray, I know that even the mighty First Amendment doesn't stand a chance against its many scovil units of civil rights suppression.

When I feel threatened by students, no matter how unarmed, peaceful and seated they may be, I know that Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray has got my back as I casually spray away at point blank range.

It really is the Cadillac of citizen repression technology.

Buy a whole case!

BRB, lol'ing forever

And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.

This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I "just bought new towels". Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour.

Then Laura came to pick me up so we could go to the discount outlet together, and as Victor gave me a kiss goodbye he lovingly whispered, "You are not allowed to bring any more goddam towels in this house or I will strangle you". And that was exactly what I was still echoing through my head an hour later, when Laura and I stopped our shopping carts and stared up in confused, silent awe at a display of enormous metal chickens, made from rusted oil drums.

I bet you can guess where this is going.