elbales: (Fantastically stupid!Ten)
Beck DESTROYED after efforts to get rid of site parodying him.

by The Erratic Synapse
Tue Oct 06, 2009 at 08:24:43 AM PDT

I'm sure people have seen the parody site about how Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 by now. What you may not know though is that Beck filed a complaint before an international body, the World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO), regarding the site's content.

The attorney for the parody site, Marc Randazza, has a great response that will be detailed over the fold....


The first ground in the complaint says basically that the domain name for the parody site—glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com—is "confusing [sic] similar to complainents' "Glenn Beck" trademark as it incorporates the "Glenn Beck" name and mark entirely."

Uh. Yeah. The same way "youaregettingsleepyverysleepyyouwanttogiveelbalesmoney" incorporates my username.

The respondent's attorney's reply?

There is no indication that the Respondent has intentionally attempted to confuse anyone searching for Mr. Beck’s own website, nor that anyone was unintentionally confused – even initially. Only an abject imbecile could believe that the domain name would have any connection to the Complainant.

We are not here because the domain name could cause confusion. We do not have a declaration from the president of the international association of imbeciles that his members are blankly staring at the Respondent’s website wondering "where did all the race baiting content go?" We are here because Mr. Beck wants Respondent’s website shut down. He wants it shut down because Respondent’s website makes a poignant and accurate satirical critique of Mr. Beck by parodying Beck’s very rhetorical style.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA
INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF IMBECILES

brb, lolling forever
 
elbales: (Cheetah laughing hysterically)
Daniel Craig popsicles: Finally, the meaning of 'sex on a stick'?

In honor of National Ice Cream Week in the UK, Del Monte Superfruit Smoothies has sculpted a limited edition popsicle in the shape of Daniel Craig's nude torso.



OH GOD
DYING OF LULZ
SEND HELP
 
elbales: (ROFL seal)
Dolph Lundgren's wife tied up by robbers... realize who hubby is, and leave.

Armed robbers fled after discovering the home they had broken into belonged to 'tough guy' actor Dolph Lundgren. The masked raiders tied up the star's wife and terrorised her into handing over cash and jewellery by threatening her with knives. But they cut short their raid on the house near Marbella, Spain, after spotting a family photo of the action star and his children in one of the bedrooms.


Their reaction will never not be funny. I mean, not the break-in itself, because I do feel sorry for the poor woman, truly. I'd have been terrified, and I'd have nightmares for weeks. No, the funny part is the robbers going OH SHIT IT'S IVAN DRAGO HE MUST BREAK US GET IN THE CAR.

Winner of the Best Comment So Far Award: "brb putting pix of dolph in my house."

please don't think i'm totally heartless
 
elbales: (Happy cat)
Holy Blog Of Doom, Batman! I just remembered I have not updated this since they let me out! You would not believe how insane my life has become. Seriously!

I am so busy with discovering time doesn't stand still, being distracted by the shiny, just generally being a nuisance to society in general, my day is long and tiring from mid-morning to midnight. I am avoiding recapture. I need a nap.

I solemnly swear I will make more of an effort to blog more often until the nice men in the white coats come back. No, really! I mean it!


. . . Of course this was all built by pop-down menus. Snerk.
 
elbales: (Facepalm - Holy Grail)
Words fail me. No, srsly.

Nigerian Accused in Scheme to Swindle Citibank

Swindles in which someone overseas seeks access to a person’s bank account are so well known that most potential victims can spot them in seconds.

But one man found success by tweaking the formula, prosecutors say: Rather than trying to dupe an account holder into giving up information, he duped the bank. And instead of swindling a person, he tried to rob a country—of $27 million.

To carry out the elaborate scheme, prosecutors in New York said on Friday, the man, identified as Paul Gabriel Amos, 37, a Nigerian citizen who lived in Singapore, worked with others to create official-looking documents that instructed Citibank to wire the money in two dozen transactions to accounts that Mr. Amos and the others controlled around the world.

The money came from a Citibank account in New York held by the National Bank of Ethiopia, that country’s central bank. Prosecutors said the conspirators, contacted by Citibank to verify the transactions, posed as Ethiopian bank officials and approved the transfers.


I am torn between *facepalm* and *flail* and BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It's only funny because they got caught; otherwise I'd be furious with Citibank for pissing away its government-funded bailout. If that seems logically inconsistent, well, suck it. (She said cheerfully.)
 
elbales: (F'ing weird!Nine)
AHAHAHAHAHA
*sputter*
*pause*
AHHaAHahAHAhAHahAHaHaha

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's To Use Human Milk
Group Says Move Would Help Humans, Cows

WATERBURY, Vt. -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.

"PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.


I swear I am not making this up.

*snicker*
OH YOU CRAZY PETA GUYS
 
elbales: (Just not right)
This one is work safe, just not nonbadtastehuman safe.

MY EYES

 
elbales: (Bitch please - BSG)
It's the way it was calculated.

Online Dating

Mingle2 - Online Dating



One iteration of the word pissed? Well, gosh, I guess the 198751 iterations of fuck and the 835132123 iterations of shit aren't important then!

Whoever wrote this code needs to get a clue.

Moron.
 

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