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elbalesIn today's mail:
[Front side of envelope]
[Back side of envelope]
Yeah. Because I'm sure God--if in fact such a being exists (I got nothin' either way)--has nothing better to do than come along and give money to lazy idiots who do nothing for it besides whine. What is it with this panhandling-the-divine thing? I just find the whole concept distasteful. And then some asshole comes along and thinks up some way to make money off the lazy idiots--well, I can't entirely blame them for that; people have been doing it for millennia, and you'll notice there's never a shortage of lazy idiots. But they've gone and set up an entire nonprofit organization, using religion as a screen for bilking credulous fools out of their money. At least some of which has to be hard-earned, on the theory that most people do actually work for a living. (And completely leaving aside the question of how hard or well or honestly they work.)
No, I didn't open the envelope. I'm not going to. So okay, I'm drawing all my conclusions from what's printed on the outside. I don't feel guilty for it; the senders obviously expected at least some of the people who got this piece of junk would draw conclusions from the outside. (To wit: OMG GOD WANTS TO GIVE ME MONEY OMG WHERE DO I SIGN UP OKAY SURE YOU CAN HAVE MY (money/time/good name/firstborn child) AS LONG AS GOD GIVES ME MONEY AFTERWARD WHAT FINE PRINT?)
You know, maybe I will open the envelope. If there's a business reply envelope in there I might send it back filled with something heavy. . . . Nah, odds are poor. Next!
ETA: OH MY GOD THERE IS A GOD THERE'S A BUSINESS REPLY LETTER ENCLOSED BWAHAHAHA *dies*
(No, not struck dead, just laughing.)
[Front side of envelope]
[Back side of envelope]
Yeah. Because I'm sure God--if in fact such a being exists (I got nothin' either way)--has nothing better to do than come along and give money to lazy idiots who do nothing for it besides whine. What is it with this panhandling-the-divine thing? I just find the whole concept distasteful. And then some asshole comes along and thinks up some way to make money off the lazy idiots--well, I can't entirely blame them for that; people have been doing it for millennia, and you'll notice there's never a shortage of lazy idiots. But they've gone and set up an entire nonprofit organization, using religion as a screen for bilking credulous fools out of their money. At least some of which has to be hard-earned, on the theory that most people do actually work for a living. (And completely leaving aside the question of how hard or well or honestly they work.)
No, I didn't open the envelope. I'm not going to. So okay, I'm drawing all my conclusions from what's printed on the outside. I don't feel guilty for it; the senders obviously expected at least some of the people who got this piece of junk would draw conclusions from the outside. (To wit: OMG GOD WANTS TO GIVE ME MONEY OMG WHERE DO I SIGN UP OKAY SURE YOU CAN HAVE MY (money/time/good name/firstborn child) AS LONG AS GOD GIVES ME MONEY AFTERWARD WHAT FINE PRINT?)
You know, maybe I will open the envelope. If there's a business reply envelope in there I might send it back filled with something heavy. . . . Nah, odds are poor. Next!
ETA: OH MY GOD THERE IS A GOD THERE'S A BUSINESS REPLY LETTER ENCLOSED BWAHAHAHA *dies*
(No, not struck dead, just laughing.)
