Homework, feh.

[elbales]

Sad. I'm finishing my homework for my class... and I'm so uninspired. Maybe it's just because it's been two weeks since the first session (we had a weekend off for Thanksgiving), or maybe it's because I got sick the very night of class and I sort of lost my focus.

Or maybe it's just the class. It's about dealing with diversity issues--a sticky and uncomfortable subject. I don't like being uncomfortable. There's an ugly truth for you.


At least I got to see tahari today, which was lovely.

Comments

[kevinvaughn.livejournal.com]

I admire your honest about being uncomfortable. I think your discomfort is very, very common and very, very human. That you can admit it is laudable.

I have always been somewhat bothered by people who can't admit that there are certain aspects of people's identities that bring them to a loss. (Because you can't fix something until you admit it.) I hate that they hide behind a rhetoric that says as much as they are careful not to say. Those are the people of whom to be wary. I believe that these are the types that secretly vote Republican.

In my program there is a distinct lack of diversity. (Thank God I do live in this city.) I don't see so much discomfort as an eerie comfort among my peers. I don't know how much attention we give to other aesthetics, because no one has to really worry about anyone bringing up minority/marginalized POVs (I do, but I am only one voice among many).

I hope it gets easier and more enjoyable. It's difficult when your experiences and expectations might be very different. I loved my students at Globe, but because I wasn't Chinese I was at a significant handicap. That's just the way life treats us sometimes.

♥ the E

[elbales]

*big hugs* for the Kevin.

Thank you for the kind words. It's so true, and familiar, that bit about "eerie comfort." In my first school there were some Asians, some Latinos, but not. one. African-American. (Do you personally say "black"? That's the most familiar term to me, but I think people should be called what they want to be called.) And it wasn't until sometime in grad school that I realized: I got along fine with all of the kids who were nice to be around. I liked them. I didn't care what they looked like. Geez, I played a lot with one girl who was having successive reconstructive surgeries for a cleft palate, and I never really thought about it for ages. But you know what? I assumed all of those kids were like me. I mean, if someone had pointed out they weren't? I'd have blinked and said, "Oh. Okay," and gone on treating them the same. But still.

I think part of my blah-ness tonight is just this particular assignment, the more I think of it. I have to recap ("teach") an article for my colleagues; the one I chose, blind, is about implementing multicultural education in the public schools. While the ideas the writer puts forth are really actually quite cool, there's just something... ngggh, I don't know, dull?--I guess that's true--about her writing style. Plus I am in the uncomfortable situation of knowing I should have gotten started on this part of the assignment before now. I just now finished reading the article; it's long; now I have to figure out how I'm going to teach it.

I'm tired. Part of me just wants to say, Fuck it. Spend another half hour prepping and then just go the hell to bed. If she doesn't like the way I present it, she can give me a crap grade. I also have an essay to turn in tomorrow, and you know what? My essay rocks. In fact, I will post it.

[dizzyditz.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha! You get to see me tomorrow! Is that no comfort?

[elbales]

It's always nice to see you, Sarah.

...But I get to see you see me stumble and look stupid! Oh happy. At least one person in that room will still love me. ;)

[dizzyditz.livejournal.com]

Take heart dear. What you have written in your LJ now is pretty interesting stuff. There are only a few people I know who are all gung-ho about talking about their culture anyway. Maybe I can bring some relaxing tea for you?

[dizzyditz.livejournal.com]

btw - did you like the typed notes, or do you prefer hand written? I'll bring my computer anyway if you don't respond.

[elbales]

typed is rad. did you get my mail??