elbales: (ROFL seal)
Customer Reviews
Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray


306 of 308 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Accept no substitutes when casually repressing students
November 21, 2011
By D-bag of Liberty - See all my reviews


Whenever I need to breezily inflict discipline on unruly citizens, I know I can trust Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray to get the job done! The power of reason is no match for Defense Technology's superior repression power. When I reach for my can of Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray, I know that even the mighty First Amendment doesn't stand a chance against its many scovil units of civil rights suppression.

When I feel threatened by students, no matter how unarmed, peaceful and seated they may be, I know that Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray has got my back as I casually spray away at point blank range.

It really is the Cadillac of citizen repression technology.

Buy a whole case!


BRB, lol'ing forever
elbales: (Pwned!Rose)
From Xeni Jardin (@xeni) on Twitter:

"I could get excited about a Mississippi amendment proposing full personhood for women."


Yeah, me too. Fortunately, it seems that the majority of the voters of Mississippi agree.
 
elbales: (ROFL seal)
And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles.

This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I "just bought new towels". Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour.

Then Laura came to pick me up so we could go to the discount outlet together, and as Victor gave me a kiss goodbye he lovingly whispered, "You are not allowed to bring any more goddam towels in this house or I will strangle you". And that was exactly what I was still echoing through my head an hour later, when Laura and I stopped our shopping carts and stared up in confused, silent awe at a display of enormous metal chickens, made from rusted oil drums.


I bet you can guess where this is going.
 
elbales: (Kaylee  :D)
Noyo River stand of old-growth redwoods saved

Peter Fimrite, Chronicle Staff Writer
03/25/11

A San Francisco nonprofit dedicated to the preservation of ancient redwoods announced Thursday that it will exercise its option to buy a huge swath of the lush Noyo River canyon in Mendocino County, the largest old-growth forest still in private hands on the West Coast.


elbales: (Squee!Ten)
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH SQUEE IN THE WORLD

SO. HAPPY.


 

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